Well of Emotions

(It occurred to me that I haven't yet posted this on my blogspot. This was written over a year ago.)

I take up my belongings as the clouds begin to loom.

I tread through the grounds on one dreary afternoon.

Encumbered by questions, I walk amongst the trees.

Wondering what to do about my life with so many needs…

Suddenly I stumble upon an old well

As I approach, an entity from within begins to swell.

I look inside and see a glimmering sensation.

A spectacle of colors, enamoring elation.

A mysterious force, limber as water drips.

Swirling about, it bounces up and kisses my lips.

I am overwhelmed by a blissful cheer

It defogs my mind and I think clearer.

But slowly the feeling starts fading away

I wonder to myself, 'what is in this well anyways?'

A well unknown amongst the trees

Frees my mind and fulfills my needs.

Dispelling all the clouds that loom

And I found it on this afternoon.

With no one in sight

I indulge in its delight

Wonderful emotions

I feel full of might

I start experiencing things

Wonderful things

Terrifying things

Exciting things!

Stirring up within me

As I dipped in my hand

Well of Emotions

Took me to a wonderful land.

Land of color with faces of glee
Frolicking free fear beside me
Powers extraordinary filling my veins
Enables me to silence the rain.

No more a joy I have ever imagined
Wondrous elation; feels just like magic

Well of Emotions

Captivate my mind

Awesome feelings

One of a kind.

Eventually I leave

I am covered in leaves

Nestled still under the trees.

Evening is creeping

I had better return

Tomorrow to take another turn.

My errands complete, I excitedly race

To the well to enter that stimulating place.

There I arrive

Shimmer in my eyes

Well of Emotions, before me it lies.

Could this be real?

Could I be awake?

Somebody tell me

For goodness sake!

This is too good

I don't understand it

This fortuitous arrival

And here it has landed.

'If you must know if this is true

Just dip your hand, and see where it takes you.'

And I do…

Take a sip

Fingertips drip

I start to embark on a wild trip!

But something is not right…

The world I remembered is not the same.

The setting has changed, the people, deranged.

This world I once adored, is now something abhor

And my sanity cannot be maintained.

I struggle, I grip, but inevitably slip

Into a hell where black blood drips

Faces of horror draw closer and closer

Until its grace leaves my lips.

No mere fairytale, but it cast me out

Sent me spinning round about.

The rush, the moment, it took me in

It sent me falling from within.

Then the curtains closed, the room was black

The nightmare ceased and sent me back.

I shake myself, "what a trip", I said

As my eyes greeted the sky so red.

The day is leaving from whence it came

Time for me to do the same...

The next day I realize I had to return

My experience had left me taciturn.

It twisted my countenance up-side down

In self-derision I desperately drowned

I am dreary

I am depressed

I am thoroughly deprived of rest.

My body and mind are torn in two and I cannot contest

I can only think about the well

And how it made those feelings swell.

Return me to the well once more

Let me even out the score.

And so I go to the well again..

There it is before me

All those feelings swirling

Something bubbles up

I grip the rim and drink it up.

Flowing masterpiece

Symphonic bliss

Musical brilliance

Unending list

Hypnotizing song

Siren's curse

Lasting luxury

Unquenchable thirst

This well makes me feel whole

But I feel like I am out of control.

I stand back and gaze upon it

Do I dare commit myself to it?

The well is all I can think about

I struggle, deprived, under this drought.

I see it splashing up enticing me

Maybe I will take one more sip…

..or two..

..or three.

Suddenly the feelings emerge

The sky is cleared.

The land is falling away

From all I feared.

But I feel like I can't control the flight

My wings burst aflame.

I nosedive like a bombarded plane

I am losing all noise

Losing all fame.

Crashing here to the ground in searing pain.

I shake myself free of the well's hold

I accomplish nothing under its control.

I must stop it; I must leave it now

Before it decides to follow me home.

The next day I awake in a sullen disposition

I feel conquered under the well's unending attrition

Why is it that I deny my independency so?

Am I ignorant to the things that I already know?

This well coexists in two dimensions

It is the best, and the worst thing that I can mention.

Do I brave it, do I leave it, can I even be without it?

But I am free, I can leave, But will my life ever be the same to me?

I live

I laugh

I learn

I lie

But this stinging force just will not die.

The afternoon I would have spent visiting the well

Is now the afternoon I spend living in hell.

My mind is gnawing away at me

What does the well have today for me?

Another euphoria to lift my spirit?

Oh how I feel I can no longer bear it.

I sit

I ponder

I cannot lay

The thoughts will persist anyway.

These arms

These legs

These hands

These feet

Trembling anxiously, the well to greet.

All the symptoms are in replete

These desires, I cannot beat

Against my body, I cannot compete

Admit to myself as I wrack in my seat

The Well of Emotions makes me feel complete!

Go!

To the Well!

Enlist in the spell!

There I will forever dwell.

There I arrive

I fall face towards it

These emotions I felt

I could not afford it

The anger I hide

I am mortified

Pitiful love; I was trapped inside.

I could so easily leave, but I did not want to

I wanted to feel it again, I wanted to feel alive again.

Lie to myself! To its deathly taunt!

I can stop any time I want!

'Such is the man who uses the well

Caught under it's belligerent spell

You wish to stop, but your will is forfeit

The emotions withhold you, you are its puppet.'

Well of Emotions

Captivate my mind

Awesome feelings

One of a kind

In a swimming euphoria

False love I find

But what can I do?

I am confined..

..By my own mind.



             by Daniel Santiago