Self Imprisonment

Darkness spills forth an empty tale
Cramming me full of diseased thoughts.
Enslaved by my treacherous desires
I live in a waking nightmare, knowing only despair.
And my heart pleads with my body
And my mind tears at my flesh
But the horrors that stricken me have left me bare.
And I am shameful once more; treading through the moor.

I speak to myself.
Release myself!
For I am a prisoner to myself.
Darkness has shown me a new light
Artificially glazed with a resplendent haze
Marking me down in its book of life
Sending me off without strife
But my heart is destitute.

My flesh drips off my hands like liquid metal
And my sheltering leaves are blown away
Revealing unto myself my rotting condition
If I cannot deliver myself then I will not bear
I cut myself out of the picture for my sake.

Hope that cannot be tapped
My drive is lost and my energy sapped.
I gather dirt in my palms
Is this all I am made for?

This house is rotting, overtaken by nature
A ceiling so low that I must hunch forward
The limits placed were not another's doing
But they were crafted by my own hands.
I am responsible for this shame in me
Is it possible that I can be free?

No, not possible in my own strength
But I have hope that this is not the end.
I remember a sacrifice made long ago
Perhaps there is still hope for this broken soul
I hope in a power not of this world
It spirals into this sullen body.

Release me, let me finally see the morning
And let the light melt away this exterior.

Then I am lifted up out of my rusted cage
Given peace and new understanding
Overhauling a house with a low ceiling
Giving it grand walls and a grander entrance
Now I know where I stand
And myself choose where I jump and land
Should I fall head first, it is of my own bidding
But I know where to find life so fitting
In that house, that comforting house
House of refuge He rebuilt in me.

If only I chose to live in that house…